Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Caramel Squares - It's a minefield...

Behold the almost perfect proportions of this this little number
There are few things in life more disappointing than a bad caramel square. Okay, fair enough, that may be something of an exaggeration, but some of you probably know that I take this issue very seriously indeed. In fact, I SO appreciate a fine caramel square, (or 'millionaires' shortbread' as some like to call it), that  to encounter a bad one, is frankly a one way street to Bad Moodsville. Those who do know me, are well are aware of this weakness, likely because they've been dragged to specially sourced coffee shops just to watch me consume a worthy sample with the utmost reverence.
 I've definitely had my fingers burnt in the past, (metaphorically because I've never ACTUALLY made them myself), with below par offerings and indeed I would modestly consider myself something of an expert. But even I, with my vast amount of experiece in this field, am not immune to making mistakes. Today for example, my BFF actually treated me to breakfast AND, while paying, a caramel square for later. (That's precisely why she IS my BFF!)  I mean, obviously I made the right noises-
'No, no, that's FAR too much. Don't you DARE, I MEAN it!,"  but she calmly ignored my entreaties, then made to choose any old caramel square and I simply couldn't have that, so I directed the seller myself, 
'No, no, not that one, the other one. No, the other, other one. That's the one!"

This is what disappointment looks
In other words, I can't blame anyone but myself... but can I just say, in my defence, that the lowest of tricks was employed.  The (seemingly) heavily laden caramel side was displayed so enticingly, and I was so entranced by it's (apparently) perfect proportions, that almost before I knew it, it was in crisp white paper, snugly in my bag. It was only later, when I got home, that the full extent of my error was revealed. The thick caramel layer was, in fact, an illusion - only one side was thick, the rest was a mere skim - I know - I'm STILL trying to come to terms with this. The shortbread was dry and crumbly, and the chocolate, what there was of it, was clearly supermarket brand. Gutted, I was, absolutely gutted. What I'd planned to enjoy with a milky coffee to fortify me for my afternoon of school runs and homeworks, turned out to be an absolute travesty, not even worthy to bear the name 'Caramel square'.  So I disposed of it in the only way possible - by feeding it to the hungry hoards when they came in from school, proving yet again that they'll eat anything-a small comfort indeed.


  1. I've yet to have a good shop bought, even in a home bakery, caramel square. My Aunty Bee's r the best! My home made ones r described as 'good but not as good as Aunty Bee's'.

  2. Any chance of Aunty Bee's recipe?? I think the time has come to make a batch myself....

  3. This is like the chicken sandwiches in the garage - they always stick a load in the middle and absolutely NOTHING around the outside.

  4. I don't know if there is any such thing as a bad caramel square. In the same as there's no such thing as a large whiskey.
    (But that was lowdown sneakiness.)