Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Soooo Over Lent

I want that t shirt!
Well,  we're two weeks in to Lent and it's all going swimmingly. Really? Really? No, not really, and in actual fact, to be brutally honest, it's been a bit shit. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then I'm on it, cruising a steady 50. And it's not even as if I'd set myself incredibly lofty or unrealistic goals to begin with-my Lenten promises were humiliatingly modest.
First, I'd toyed with going off chocolate, (and I KNOW my arse would have thanked me), but then I remembered the endless 'diet years', so I self righteously convinced myself that I'd 'done my time'. Apart from anything, the thought of that little red Lindor choc with my nightly tea, motivates me to get up in the morning, thereby getting everyone else up as well, and its SO important to see the big picture, don't you think?.
So next, I (briefly) considered going off wine, but in the same vein, I recalled the many years of pregnancy and feeding, when wine was but a beautiful and distant memory. Have you any idea how many Lents I did? Back to back? With no St Paddy's Day in the middle for a bit of a blow out? Well, I do, and I can tell you that I'm all squared up there till Lent 2047.
So, this seems like a good time to come clean and confess that I'm a terrible picker...I mean, the worst.. really desperate altogether. Combine that with all the children, and being at home, and  preparing or serving food all the time and its not a good situation... at all. As the fridge magnet quite rightly says, 'Big pickers wear big knickers', and, between you and me, my knickers are a fair old size, (except for *ahem* a few 'less practical' pairs at the back of the drawer).
Therefore, I decided that *drumroll* I'd go off picking for Lent! And kill all manner of birds with one dirty great stone. And I can tell you that its going.....really really badly. The biggest problem is that I don't usually realize I'm even doing it, until a child screams delightedly, ' Mummy, you're picking!! You're breaking your Lent!', which is usually swiftly  followed by 'Can I break mine too?' Another issue is that I tend to pick more when I'm stressed, which coincidentally, is often when I'm trying to rustle up a dinner for seven, while asking spellings, listening to reading and overseeing piano practice at the same time. I know, I know- Excuses, excuses!
I'm also a teeny bit ashamed to admit, that the fact that the children are all off chocolate and doing very well, thank you very much, is making me feel worse. Now, obviously, this doesn't count Sundays and the odd forgetful lapse and they DO have a questionable flexibility as to the definition. As in chocolate 'chip' cookies don't count , nor does chocolate 'flavoured' ice cream. But still...
So, I'm getting back on track-we're only 2 weeks in ( see -glass half full! ) and I CAN DO THIS. I'm going to screw my courage to the sticking point and turn over a new leaf. At the same time. Yes, indeedy, MY Lent starts right here, right now!
Okay, strangely and rather dramatically, I'm hearing an orchestra and imagining myself a la Scarlett O'Hara, (if she were a ginger chubbster and much less gorgeous), sunset in the background, hand held aloft, crying  ' As God is my witness, As God is my witness ....'
(Now, I've only just gone and spoiled it by googling the rest of that quote and it's '... I'll never be hungry again', which really isn't the point AT ALL, but never mind.) So here I go, wish me luck cos I'm going to need it!


  1. Does this mean, you've an extra 2 weeks to go after Easter Sunday? Ha ha! So mean....

    My advice for picking is scrape it all into the bin straight away. Well, only if it's leftovers, otherwise it's not such a good plan.

    I am doing OK with my Lentian giving up of wine in the week, but mainly because it is a bit half-arsed and I can binge on Fri-Sun! And there's always gin.

    I HAVE given up choccie though all out. Not biscuits. Or cake. Or pastries.


  2. Hee hee hee.
    Very good.
    I suppose you could sit on your hands.