|The wearin' of the green for St Patrick's Day|
'They fuck you up your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.'
I mean, honestly, what if he's right? And if he is, it's probably too late for me anyway, the damage has already been done.. Thankfully, I realise that there's really nothing to be gained from this train of thought so I pull it back from the brink as best I can, expertly distracting myself with an online M&S sale or a really good caramel square.
There are also those great times as a mother, when the stars align and it all comes together- basking in the glow of a really good Parent Teacher meeting for instance, or watching with pride as the art of wiping one's own bum is mastered at last. Let the good times roll! These key moments, these metaphorical high fives, are then carefully tucked away to serve as reassurance for the rainy days when I'm wracked with frustration, exhaustion, impatience or self doubt.
Which brings me neatly to last week and those homeworks- never was the sentiment 'If I didn't laugh, I'd cry' more apt. So, to say that I was anticipating the P2 'Mothers day' celebration slightly more than usual is an understatement. It involves poetry, song and cupcakes and has reduced me to tears more than once in the past. (The sentiments, not the cupcakes obviously, although they're pretty spectacular too). Then, the day before, Rory complained of a sore tummy, but I felt his head, calpoled him and packed him off to school. Towards the end of the day though, I got a call to say that he was feeling unwell (cue guilt!) and to come and get him. Later at home, tucked up, re-calpoled and sleeping, the grim thought flitted across my mind, 'If he's off tomorrow, you'll miss the Mother's Day gig'. And as it happened, he WAS off the next day-almost better but not quite-and I'm not proud that despite this, I still shamelessly tried to 'encourage' him to accompany me to the one o'clock soirée 'Just for the songs? You can wear your jammies. There'll be cupcakes?' When that failed, I then briefly considered leaving him with Loverboy while I went myself. I mean honestly, can you even imagine?
'Oh, I left him at home sick, but clearly I'm so needy I came by myself. Cupcakes you say?'