Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

Sooooo, I didn't win this year at the MADS, in either of my categories, but I was just glad to have been a finalist at all... blah blah blah. Eh no, not really.


 The truth is that I really didn't expect to win again after lucking out the last two years, but that didn't mean I wasn't just a bit gutted when I actually went and lost. Which shows that I'm more competitive that I like to think when it comes to this l'il old blog!

A bunch of losers-Katie, Me and Suzanne!

 But my disappointment was short lived because the wine was flowing, the music was starting and anyway I was in good company- my table was filled with  losers!

Including the utterly smashing Katie who writes Hurrah for Gin, Kara from ChelseaMamma, and Jennifer of Jenniferslittleworld.


And gatecrashing us bunch of losers were the epic Suzanne from Three Children and It  and Kirsty from Eehbahmum, so the craic was ninety.

Dr Ranj strutting his stuff with Sarah and Kirsty!

Then Dr Ranj of Cbeebies fame began to strut his stuff to Dancing Queen which meant an excellent photo op for me.

(He's pocket sized by the way, and really quite cute in his bright blue suit that looked like it had been sewn by elves).








 And then it was all over for another year as me and my goody bag made our way back to my sister's house, where she was still up feeding her new beautiful son Cathal (pronounced Ca-hill).

The wee Man

The irony of it hit me then-me out partying and my baby sister in with the baa-by! How I laughed (perhaps in retrospect, a little too uproariously) at how times had changed!  Then I told her all about my night and she didn't even mind when I fell asleep mid story.


 The thing is, I hadn't  even planned on going to the MADS this year -but then baby Cathal came early, and the very next day the Mammy and myself booked our flights and off to London we went.

 And honestly? Over the weekend as I held the wee man, and spent quality time with my  sister and my Mum, I realised that the Awards (or lack of them), didn't actually matter one little bit.

 I'd already won just by being there in the midst of that brand new wee family, secure in the knowledge that Himself was taking care of our (much larger) family back home. (And yet he was still able to remain blissfully unaware of the garguantuan pile of laundry that covered the entire utility room floor... that's a gift.)

 Later Lovelies....and BTW even though I didn't win, thank you so much for taking the time to vote for me all those months back-it means an awful lot xxx

I'm Going to the MAD Awards!

 I've read a LOT of children's books in my time...some excellent-  they're the ones I'll innocently suggest and the kids generally keep coming back to; others ranging from mediocre to pretty crap- when you get that sinking feeling as they're pulled from the shelf, and you read them on autopilot, sneakily skipping a few lines (or pages)  as you go....or maybe that's just me?

Anyway, these days, I'm also trying my hand at writing children's books- did I mention that? Inspired by the fabulous Nicky Harlow who taught a children's fiction writing workshop I attended at the John Hewitt International Summer School, I'm giving it a whirl and believe me,  it's SO much harder than it looks!

With that in mind, and with my trip to the  MAD Blog Awards in London this Friday, I've ripped off  been inspired by a well known children's book in my own little ode to the MADs. Hope you enjoy it!
Oh, and you can check out all the fabulous blogging finalists right here and follow all the cheeky shenanigans live on Twitter #madblogawards

Me at the MAD Blog Awards 2012, complete with the giant red stag in the hotel lobby....No, I'm not sure why either!

I'm going to the MAD Awards, 

I'm going to the MAD Awards, 

I'm going to have a hangover,

What a lot of champers!

 I'm not scared.

Oh-oh! A dress! 

A long, tight dress!

I can't slim into it, 

I can't bust out of it. 

Oh no! 

 I've got to get the spanx on. 

Squishy, squashy!

Squishy, squashy!

Squishy squashy!

I'm going to the MAD Awards, 

I'm going to have a hangover,  

What a lot of champers! 

I'm not scared. 

Oh -oh! Stilettos! 

Sexy, toe crunching stilettos.

I can't wear flip flops,

I can't wear Uggs, 

Oh no! 

I'll have to hobble through it!

Stumble, trip! 

Stumble, trip! 

Stumble, trip!

I'm going to the MAD Awards, 

I'm going to have a hangover,  

What a lot of champers! 

I'm not scared. 

Oh- oh! White skin! 

Freckly Blue-white skin. 

It always goes on streaky,
And smells like old digestives,
Oh no!

I'd better slap the tan on!

Squelch, squerch!

Squelch, squerch! 

Squelch, squerch!

I'm going to the MAD Awards, 

I'm going to have a hangover, 

What a lot of champers! 

I'm not scared.....

Wish me luck, peeps!!

All the Bizz- The MAD Blog Awards 2014

For those of you who didn't catch my slightly hysterical Facebook post the other night, (which strictly speaking I'm off for Lent, but say nothing), I received the MAJOR news that I'm a finalist in the MAD Blog Awards again this year. Which means that I'm one of only 59 finalists out of the 2000 nominated!! Can you believe it? And in two categories as well- Schooldays and Most Entertaining.

 All those times that little voice in my head tells me not to even bother, and that NO ONE wants to read my nonsense anyway, well, this tells me something different. Or the other voice in there that reminds me that Adventures of an Unfit Mother is a very, very small fish in a very big Bloggy pond, but sure what do you expect when you don't understand Google + and you're not even on Instagram? It reminds me that actually, I have a lot of lovely, loyal readers who took the time out of their day to nominate me anyway. So, in a very rambling roundabout way what I'm saying is THANK YOU, to each and everyone of you, and I'm very grateful that you did.

Because as of today,  I got me my brand new finalist badge -check it out to your right>>>>>
It also means that I'm off to London in September for the Awards, so I'll be pulling on ye olde Spanx , wearing a spanking new dress, getting tiddley on all those free drinkies and having a bit of craic with a few other mad bloggers out there. Who knows, I may even have a bit of slap and tickle with a random Cbeebies presenter? (It was Dr Raj last year, but I would positively DIE if I met Justin)

But here's the sting-as a finalist, I still need your votes to be in with a snowball's chance in hell of winning either one of my categories. But a wee birdie told me that it's been done before....and I would sooo love to do it again, so would you take a moment and cast your vote for me in the School Days and Most Entertaining categories?
Right now, I'm blowing you virtual kisses and I promise I'll post lots of photos of the big Awards night....even my most embarrassing and least flattering ones. What the heck, I may even Instagram them!
 Laters lovelies, Emma xx

PS while you're on there do take a look at the other finalists- you are absolutely guaranteed to find new blogs to love. Some of my favs are Hurrah for Gin in the New Blogs category , Three Children and It in School Days, and of course Frugal Queen who's in all the rest! Enjoy xxx

Taking A Step Back

I'm off to London today, (or 'Londing England' as a friend of mine insists on calling  it!) . Yes indeedy, as my prize in last September's MAD Blog Awards, Loverboy and I will be living it large all weekend - nibbling on afternoon tea, taking in a West End Show (Mamma Mia-here I go again!), quaffing cocktails and inhaling the 'all you can eat breakfast' - seriously, what's not to like?
Which is why there's a certain irony in what I'm going to say next... I've decided that it's time to take a step back from my blog. Not forever, mind you, but for a while. After almost two years and over 300 posts, I feel like I need a wee break.

'Adventures of an Unfit Mother' began as a much needed outlet, a place to find my voice, somewhere I could  be creative and completely honest.(Possibly toooo much at times!) It's been all that and more and amazingly it's grown steadily along the way. From just my sisters and a few friends, I now have 500 people visiting on a daily basis. Which, incidentally, is nothing compared to the big blogging fish out there, but quite an achievement for l'il old me. It's a massive compliment when people take the time to pop in, and even better when they come back and stay on to shoot the breeze as well.

The writing of it has always been the the fun part for me.....but I'm really useless at the rest of it.  For you non bloggers out there, I'm talking about the whole PR side of it all - the Twitter presence, the numerous blogging platforms, Instagram, Pinterest and the rest. Then there's the commenting on OTHER people's blogs (I know one blogger who rotates visits on 30 different blogs every freakin' night!), the blog hops and the forums. Because the truth is, if you want to grow your readership,  you've got to do all of that and more... but I can barely keep up with writing my own posts, never mind that side of it as well. So it all comes back to the initial purpose of the blog, which was as a head clearing space for me...so maybe none of the PR stuff  matters anyway at the end of the day. (Although honestly? I think it does a bit...maybe I'm more ambitious than I first thought!)

My main problem is time, or really the lack of it. Some posts take longer than others but I'm finding it hard to keep up with 3-4 posts a week while juggling everything else and holding onto my sanity. It's making me snappy and stressed and somewhere along the line it's become less of an outlet and more of a job... without the nice salary part! Other things have changed too - I used to read voraciously, always did, only now I seem to read other blogs (many of which I love, by the way), but I miss the newspapers, books and magazines too. As well as the time, I feel its all sucking up too much of my emotional energy, which leaves a whole lot less for the stuff that matters. A classic case of self induced burn out - hence the step back.

So I wanted to let you know my thoughts, even though I'm probably  flattering myself to think that you'd even notice my absence!  I'll still be here from time to time ...just on a less regular, more 'now and again' basis..like when genius strikes ...or I get a new pair of shoes and I'm hoping that you won't be a stranger and you'll still pop in to say hello.

I'm not one for big goodbyes so I'll  not go all tote emosh on you and that's not a tear in my eye. Let's just say, thanks babes and I'll see you when I see you - I suspect it'll be sooner rather than later - and in the meantime, look after yourself, wont you?
Love Emmaxxx

Ps I simply COULDN'T leave without showing you my gorgeous new summer shoes...soooo practical and quite deliciously  happen to match the scarf that I bought a few months ago...I suppose sometimes the accessories stars just align!

Mad Blog Awards

It seemed so long ago back in May-months away, with a whole summer in between. There was the caravilla, then one sister's wedding, then another sister's new baby, and now all of a sudden it's this weekend. Tomorrow night, little old me will be a finalist at the MAD Blog Awards in London!

We're making a long weekend of it, Loverboy and I- the Awards, a West End show, dinner and drinks with friends and then plenty of time for the two of us to just wander through old London town.With possibly a bit of shoe shopping thrown in. Maybe.

Right now though, I'm stressing in a big way about the kids- clothes to pack, toys to bring, raincoats, school uniforms, dinner money, books, special blankets..... They're off to stay in their Granny and Granda's, so I know they'll be fine.... but I still worry. A worrier by nature AND a mummy too..that's so not a good combo- one feeds off the other, you see!  It peaks the closer I get to going anywhere, and the night before I'm usually very close to calling it off altogether, and asking myself what was I thinking , and then Loverboy says, 'You always do this, every time, and you ring home and they're fine, and then you're fine. So stop stressing, it's gonna be fun!'

Strangely enough, the only thing I'm not actually worried about are the Awards themselves. Truly I'm not! I've got my dress and my shoes sorted- the same ones I wore to THE wedding a few weeks ago, and with zero expectation of winning, I feel like I can just relax and enjoy the evening. There's no faux modesty here - I really AM the long shot and just very glad to be going at all. I'm looking forward to meeting all of  the faces behind the blogs... and then obviously there's the free food and drink so really, what's not to like?
There's actually a live feed from the Awards on Friday night, so if you've nowhere to go, and a thunderstorm takes out your Sky+, and you're clean outta box sets, you can take a peak at what's going on. (I don't have a URL right now but it'll be up on the MAD BLOGS website by then). 

So all there's left to say is Thank You. Thank you for taking the time to vote for me all those months ago- many of you did it more than once- and without all those votes, I certainly wouldn't be living it large in London this weekend! But far more importantly, thank you for reading and following this little blog over the last year. When I started it, I never thought that anyone, except possibly my family, would  be interested in anything I had to say. Sometimes being proved wrong tastes very sweet indeed. Emmaxxx

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

All roads lead to...

So we're home now from the Caravilla, having just done a three weeker up there, and a very fine time we had too! After a washout week weather wise over the 12th, THIS time I went prepared- as in, I  ditched the heels and pashminas for welly bobs and a raincoat! (Before you ask, OBVIOUSLY, I still brought a makeup and jewellry selection-that would be a step too far.)
As it turned out though, this time we were SO lucky with the weather, that the wellybobs didn't even get a wee turn! The kids lived in shorts and t shirts, the sun (mostly) shone, and life was good. If I've learned one thing about Donegal summers, it's that just because it's pouring in the morning, doesn't mean you won't be sunning yourself and skinny dipping that afternoon... and vice versa. Once I realised that, I actually began to like it, because it forced me not to plan too far ahead. I tried to just let the good times roll with the weather, because Irish chances were, we'd probably be listening to the rain beat off the roof later on!

Our 'The Hills are Alive' moment

But anyway, now we're home, and the house seems MASSIVE and our bed super duper luxurious! (Now, dont get me wrong, the bed in the caravilla is cosy and snug..... but more than a tad vertically challenged, and a teensy bit too compact and bijoux pour moi on a long term basis.)
And don't even get me started on the emotional reunion with my bath! Having been bathless for three weeks, it was SUCH a treat to fill it with Jo Malone bubbles and sink into it, Grazia in hand. Showers have their place-they're functional and fast- the hygiene equivalent of a rocky bar, or a penguin, or possibly even a club milk, but a bath...well, it's a really good caramel square, or a slice of home made coffee cake. There's simply no comparison. One scratches an itch, the other is an itch all of its own!

My usual morning walk

And yet....after a day or so, the novelty of baths and beds and space has begun to wear off, and I find myself missing the beautiful simplicity of life in the Caravilla. The way that after the few days it takes me to wind down, real life with its many pressures, appointments, to do lists  and complications begins to seem very far away.
And the simple things like a walk on the beach, or the sun on your face, or the sound of the waves, can bring a contentment you only get to appreciate away from all the hustle and bustle.
It's probably something to do with the fact that the summer is drawing to a close, and although we'll be up again for a few weekends, our long stretch there is over until next year, and that makes me a little sad. The days are shortening again, a new term is looming and the mundanities of school shoes, hair cuts and potty training are on my immediate horizon.
Soon the long, sunny summer days will be only a memory...(And a hazy one at that, because obviously I'm already forgetting the quare bit of torrential rain and the numerous times we shook our heads muttering 'It's desperate- you'd think it was November! Sure you wouldn't live here unless you had to!')
But where there's a yin, there's a yang, and a whole lot of good stuff is coming up for us too. My little sister is getting married in a few weeks, and my brother and his lovely family are coming home from California for the celebrations. My other sister's new baby is due at the very same time, (although fingers crossed, Junior won't make an appearance till after the ceremony, because like me, she's signed up to be both bridesmaid and wedding singer!) And then, after all that excitement and family time, at the end of September, I'm off to the MAD awards in London ... and 3 whole nights away with Loverboy! As I said,  plenty to look forward to.
So here's to the end of one season and the beginning of another....but, hold on, not quite yet, it's still August after all.

Dress it up, dress it down!

Well here, it looks like I'm definitely off to London in September for these MAD Blog awards...to a fancy schmancy hotel in Bloomsbury, if you don't mind, where I'll be quaffing (free!) cocktails and hobnobbing away with the other finalists. Yep, it's a dirty job.....
There WAS an initial question mark over whether I could go or not-Oh, the drama of it- one minute, I didn't even know there WAS an awards ceremony, and the next there was the nail biting possibility of a clash with my sister's wedding! (Which obviously I'd never DREAM of missing... and anyway, all of my babysitting options are guests!) Crisis averted though, as it turns out they're 2 weeks apart. Phew! (I just KNOW you were on the edge of your seat there.)
This meant, that I was then able to tie down my (ever accommodating ) Ma & Da for babysitting duties, so now we're completely sorted....in that department anyway. I mean we've still to book our Sleazy Jet flights, (where I'll definitely learn from my mortifying Exeter experience and book the extra bag)... And then, there's the MAJOR issue of what to wear. Yes indeedy, it may be 4 months away, and I probably SHOULD be worrying about giving good blog between now and then, and/or selling my soul/body for votes, (as there can be no doubt that I'm the long shot), but no, right now, for me, it's all about the dress.. Or dresses to be exact...because that wedding that I mentioned before? Yours truly is a bridesmaid, or more accurately-a 'matron of honour'.
 Jude unwittingly fueled my anxieties about this when he asked me yesterday, 'Mummy, are bridesmaids not usually about the same age as the bride?' Ouch! Loverboy snorted with laughter, because, it's true, I am twelve years older that my sister.... and four sizes bigger. My other sister (who's just the ten years younger), is also a bridesmaid....or is she? You see, we won't actually know for sure until the day itself, as her second baby is due two days later. And even if she is there, I (shamelessly) can't rely on her to make me look better, because she's one of those annoyingly skinny pregnant people, who just have a perfectly proportioned melon of a belly. (Unlike me, who was blessed each time, not only with the belly, but the arse, thighs and a great big pregnant moon face as well!) Oh, and our lovely twelve year old Anna is a 'mini' bridesmaid. (Yes, that IS her actual title, so she's the yin to my yang, if you will. The Happy Meal, to my Big Mac, so to speak)

Wrong card......

 I've a confession to make-at my own wedding all those years ago, there was a guest there, (I'm not telling you which side!), who was wearing a flouncy, floral number, and my good friend Kim leaned over and whispered in my ear, 'Who's the ancient bridesmaid?' and then we both sniggered evilly. I mean this lady must have been all of, oh I don't know, mid forties? Roll on 16 years, and this is surely bad bridesmaid karma back to bite me up the arse. Who's the ancient bridesmaid now, mwah, ha, ha ha!
 And the other dress? Well, I MAY get a new one but I'm seriously considering a new little number I recently wore to my sister in laws wedding - a lovely silk, Anna Scholz wrap dress. The only issue here, (according to my mother), is that it's too revealing in the chest area. In fact, she helpfully told me that I needed a modesty panel. (No, I didn't know either.) Now, obviously I took this with a huge tablespoonful of salt, as she's a well known anti cleavage militant, and any lingering doubts disappeared when Loverboy unequivocally assured me it was grand altogether, But then later, I WAS a trifle disconcerted when an old, sozzled sleazer, (there simply would be no barge pole long enough), saw me with Luke on my hip and complimented me with "I'm sure that wee fella doesn't go hungry with those puppies!" I mean who SAYS these things? Who even THINKS them?
I wanted to give him one of my renowned withering looks but he wasn't actually looking at my face, so I just stomped off in a huff. The long and the short of it is... I haven't decided. On the one hand, I may not ever get such a wonderful excuse to buy a new dress ever again...but then again, a modesty panel may be just the ticket. I just need to find out what it is first- Mr Google will know....

PS- I would REALLY appreciate it if you would vote for me in the MADs, and maybe this long shot might be in with a chance!?... It's dead easy, closing date is June 6th and there's a button on the right that takes you straight there. I'm up in two categories-Blog of the Year and Family Life  (but you only vote for Family Life) and I literally will love you forever!
While you're there, do take a look at the other finalists -77 cracking blogs in 20 different categories-I'm working my way around them all and loving it!

Taking to the Skies

Last Saturday morning, I was on a 7am flight on my ownio to Exeter, (and then on to Torquay - the English Riviera, don't ya know!), to spend two days and one night with old school friends. Sounds simple...and really it should have been, but I don't travel that often on my own and it shows. The last time when I was in London to visit my sister, I somehow managed, in panic, to drop my pull along case full on a woman's head.... in a packed train carriage. She was stunned but fine. It. Was. Excruciating. As it happened, I actually hadn't missed my stop after all, so I had to stay on and continue apologizing over and over, until it was time to get off.... Good times.
Anyway, this time I was all organised the night before, so that when my alarm went off at 445am, I got dressed, took my bag and crept out. It was 530am, pitch dark and pouring down. Ten minutes down the road, I realized that I'd forgotten my phone - it was charging and I'd forgotten to lift it. Unable to face an entire weekend without it, (I know-pathetic!), I made the snap decision to turn back and screeched  into the drive, up the stairs, grabbed the phone (Loverboy- 'What the...?') and out the door. Again. It was now 548am, time was seriously tight and any hope of a pre flight cappucino was dashed. Like a bat out of hell, I somehow made it over the mountain and into the airport by 610am and rushed into the queue...  to discover 10 minutes later that it was the wrong one. Aaaaarrrrggggh! Finally, it was into security, which for me typically involves the removal of several lbs of costume jewellry, then two or three trips through the magic door frame, then finally a  good 'feeling up' by the burly security woman. This time didn't disappoint, but eventually, more than a little frazzled, and frankly slightly violated, I made it through to find that the flight had been slightly delayed, so all was well. Phew!
My thoughts now turned to the issue of my hand luggage. Loverboy had measured my bag the night before and declared that it was 10cm too big. Laughing uproariously at the ridiculous suggestion that I take a smaller case,  I'd decided to risk it. Now, before you heckle, I had my reasons. These were:

Not my bag but remarkably similar

a) I'd used this bag as hand luggage in the past with no problems,
b) I'd reasoned a 7am flight to Exeter was bound to be pretty empty.
c) It was leopard print and I loved it.
d) I'm basically a gambler at heart.
The first indication that I'd backed a loser came with the announcement over the loudspeaker, warning of hand luggage charges. Probably just a standard recording, I reassured myself. The second indication was the crowd of people who appeared to be waiting for the flight. It transpired that this flight wasn't actually finishing in Exeter- it was continuing on to Paris. Two little words popped into my mind and the penny reluctantly dropped -' halfterm' and 'Disney'.
Hurrying towards gate 10, I remembered that my fairly large handbag still had to be squashed into my already bursting 'hand' luggage. So, when I got there, and watched with genuine interest by my fellow passengers, eventually, and only by kneeling on it, I managed to get my handbag in and the zip shut. At this point, it dawned on me, that my bag possibly DID look moderately large in comparison to everyone elses, and I'm almost certain that several of those around me shared that observation.

No chance....

Getting up off the floor, I discovered that, most annoyingly, the bag's handle had jammed in the half position. As in, I could put it down but couldn't fully extend it. No matter how hard I tried, (and by this stage I really WAS the floor show), it was resolutely stuck. Right on cue, a grumpy looking staff member approached checking on ID and boarding passes. Standing in front of my case, I smilingly handed her my documents, but she wasn't fooled.
'That's too big- you'll have to put that in the hold'.
'Really? I did measure it.' Well I did.
'If it doesn't fit in the bag checker, it's going in the hold. Follow me.'
It's very difficult to walk with dignity through a crowd of people, while pulling a leopard print case with a much shortened handle, and wearing these shoes but I did my best. You can guess what comes next. The humiliation of valiantly trying to force the case into the bag checker, with the entire queue watching in amusement while Grumpy Arse  looked on triumphantly. 'I think you'll have to admit that doesn't fit.' In a flash, a credit card machine was produced and she extracted her pound of flesh. Or more specifically £40 of cold hard cash. Nose in the air,  I swept past her on to the plane, and was in my seat, still burning with embarrassment, when a member of ground staff appeared in the empty aisle with the credit card  I'd left in the machine. So much for my grand exit.... Ah well, you win some, you lose some. The moral of the story is I need to travel more...or maybe that should be less?