Movies, Hens and Weddings!

No admittance without these!

Do you know, I've so much to tell you I just don't know where to start! The kids went back to school on Monday,  and it seems like all I've done since then is back books, write cheques, put dates into calendars and shout a lot.
I had big plans to write a long chatty post about last weekend, which included a World Movie premiere on Friday, (Yes, its true! My blog is now SO famous that I'm being asked along to premieres), and then another one all about what we got up to on my sister's hen night last Saturday... But I just haven't had a chance, and now there's a whole lot of other stuff coming up THIS weekend, and as you can probably gather, I'm all in a tizz. So I forced myself to sit down and  write something, rather than nothing at all.
First of all, the movie premiere (which Rory kept calling the Premiere Inn by mistake). It wasn't in Hollywood  (or even Holywood), because it was, in fact, a combined film project between our's and our neighbour's children. The actual movie was about half an hour long, and was made over the course of a year and then the editing process took a few weeks after that. There was a (somewhat loose) story line, plenty of fake fighting scenes and a good bit of general posing, but they did every bit of it themselves- even adding music and credits at the end.

Ready for her close up...

Premiere Night had been planned for months, was kindly hosted by our neighbour's, and I'm fairly certain that no more effort goes into the Oscars. The kids had all pooled money and bought decorations, cake and nibbles. They'd made passes and invitations for everyone and we were all given an assigned seat and instructions to dress up.
The starring actresses were in full evening dress, and the actors (much more reluctant about the whole 'dressing up' thing) were bullied into a shirt and jacket. During the afternoon, our sunroom was transformed into a beauty parlour - nails were painted and hair was teased into elaborate styles.
After the lights were dimmed, and silence called for, the movie was shown on a big projector screen. Afterwards, there were  photo ops and interviews with the stars.
A barbecue and dancing outside followed, and as an extra treat they all then slept outside in a tent, and enjoyed a midnight feast. It was a really lovely evening with family and friends, and a fitting end to a film project that had blessedly kept them all busy for many a long day. Filming has already begun on the next one.
The very next morning, it was time for my sister Clare's Hen. (Quick recap- she's getting married next week and there's TREMENDOUS excitement. My brother is coming home tomorrow from California specially with his fam, and our Anna, my other sister Mary and myself are bridesmaids.. (OKAY!! Matrons of Honour). Oh and Mary and I are also singing at the ceremony AND did I happen to mention that she's 9 months pregnant?! (NOT the sister getting married, the other one!)

Elegance Personified!

Anyway, back to the hen night. It was in the lovely medieval town of Carlingford, about an hour from here, with cobble streets (NO friend to killer heels), lots of wee pubs and great music. We stayed in the fabulous Ghan House, where we started with a champagne reception and then had a 3 course meal served in a private dining room, and then after the obligatory cheeky hen games, off we all clipped to paint Carlingford red.(Even my mum and aunt came along for the meal, although they were gently but firmly shifted on to bed before the Hen games began).
During the day,  we went to Carlingford Adventure Centre, which I was SURE wouldn't be my cup of tea, and I'm not saying that I would necessarily choose it over shoe shopping, but it turned out to be great fun. I even did zorbing -  it wasn't initially planned but a few of us threw caution and dignity to the winds and bounced downhill in a giant bouncy ball just for the craic of it.

The Merry Hens

Getting into the ball was the hardest part. There's 2 holes on either side  and for balance sake you and your zorbing partner have to throw yourselves into the ball in opposite directions, at the same time, and then get strapped in.
When I heard this, I wanted to back out then and there- I mean that hole was bloody small-I knew that there was NO possible way I was going to be able to just 'throw myself in'. But he refused point blank to let me go in feet first and if I didn't at least try, then poor Julie would have been partnerless!
Well, all I can say is, thank God there's no photo evidence, because believe me when I say that it wasn't my finest hour. At the count of three, Julie popped elegantly through, while Tinky Winky here got stuck in the hole so had to be shoved through (rather roughly) from behind. To add insult to injury, I then fell into the ball headfirst and found myself lying like a crab on my back, on the  bottom of this giant sphere. I was desperately trying to work out how to somehow get myself up and into the straps, when I got a cramp. It was utterly mortifying.
 Julie, by now efficiently strapped in, was laughing down at me, while the two instructors peered through each hole in disbelief, that someone could be so completely uncoordinated and inept. FINALLY when I could move, I somehow managed to shuffle upwards and backwards into my harness. That's when the fun really began- Check us out and listen carefully for the squeals!






So, all in all,  I think that we gave Her Ladyship a good old send off and now we're on the count down to the big day itself! Which happens to include a dress fitting for Yours Truly tomorrow......so say a wee prayer that the zip goes up! Laterssssssssssssxxxx

Dress it up, dress it down!

Well here, it looks like I'm definitely off to London in September for these MAD Blog awards...to a fancy schmancy hotel in Bloomsbury, if you don't mind, where I'll be quaffing (free!) cocktails and hobnobbing away with the other finalists. Yep, it's a dirty job.....
There WAS an initial question mark over whether I could go or not-Oh, the drama of it- one minute, I didn't even know there WAS an awards ceremony, and the next there was the nail biting possibility of a clash with my sister's wedding! (Which obviously I'd never DREAM of missing... and anyway, all of my babysitting options are guests!) Crisis averted though, as it turns out they're 2 weeks apart. Phew! (I just KNOW you were on the edge of your seat there.)
This meant, that I was then able to tie down my (ever accommodating ) Ma & Da for babysitting duties, so now we're completely sorted....in that department anyway. I mean we've still to book our Sleazy Jet flights, (where I'll definitely learn from my mortifying Exeter experience and book the extra bag)... And then, there's the MAJOR issue of what to wear. Yes indeedy, it may be 4 months away, and I probably SHOULD be worrying about giving good blog between now and then, and/or selling my soul/body for votes, (as there can be no doubt that I'm the long shot), but no, right now, for me, it's all about the dress.. Or dresses to be exact...because that wedding that I mentioned before? Yours truly is a bridesmaid, or more accurately-a 'matron of honour'.
 Jude unwittingly fueled my anxieties about this when he asked me yesterday, 'Mummy, are bridesmaids not usually about the same age as the bride?' Ouch! Loverboy snorted with laughter, because, it's true, I am twelve years older that my sister.... and four sizes bigger. My other sister (who's just the ten years younger), is also a bridesmaid....or is she? You see, we won't actually know for sure until the day itself, as her second baby is due two days later. And even if she is there, I (shamelessly) can't rely on her to make me look better, because she's one of those annoyingly skinny pregnant people, who just have a perfectly proportioned melon of a belly. (Unlike me, who was blessed each time, not only with the belly, but the arse, thighs and a great big pregnant moon face as well!) Oh, and our lovely twelve year old Anna is a 'mini' bridesmaid. (Yes, that IS her actual title, so she's the yin to my yang, if you will. The Happy Meal, to my Big Mac, so to speak)

Wrong card......

 I've a confession to make-at my own wedding all those years ago, there was a guest there, (I'm not telling you which side!), who was wearing a flouncy, floral number, and my good friend Kim leaned over and whispered in my ear, 'Who's the ancient bridesmaid?' and then we both sniggered evilly. I mean this lady must have been all of, oh I don't know, mid forties? Roll on 16 years, and this is surely bad bridesmaid karma back to bite me up the arse. Who's the ancient bridesmaid now, mwah, ha, ha ha!
 And the other dress? Well, I MAY get a new one but I'm seriously considering a new little number I recently wore to my sister in laws wedding - a lovely silk, Anna Scholz wrap dress. The only issue here, (according to my mother), is that it's too revealing in the chest area. In fact, she helpfully told me that I needed a modesty panel. (No, I didn't know either.) Now, obviously I took this with a huge tablespoonful of salt, as she's a well known anti cleavage militant, and any lingering doubts disappeared when Loverboy unequivocally assured me it was grand altogether, But then later, I WAS a trifle disconcerted when an old, sozzled sleazer, (there simply would be no barge pole long enough), saw me with Luke on my hip and complimented me with "I'm sure that wee fella doesn't go hungry with those puppies!" I mean who SAYS these things? Who even THINKS them?
I wanted to give him one of my renowned withering looks but he wasn't actually looking at my face, so I just stomped off in a huff. The long and the short of it is... I haven't decided. On the one hand, I may not ever get such a wonderful excuse to buy a new dress ever again...but then again, a modesty panel may be just the ticket. I just need to find out what it is first- Mr Google will know....

PS- I would REALLY appreciate it if you would vote for me in the MADs, and maybe this long shot might be in with a chance!?... It's dead easy, closing date is June 6th and there's a button on the right that takes you straight there. I'm up in two categories-Blog of the Year and Family Life  (but you only vote for Family Life) and I literally will love you forever!
While you're there, do take a look at the other finalists -77 cracking blogs in 20 different categories-I'm working my way around them all and loving it!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

Snippity snip!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Okay, okay, I may be overstating somewhat, but there's no doubt, that as weekends go, I've had more exciting. I mean, missing Christy Moore and the hotel breakfast WAS a bit of a bummer, but on the upside, I got loads done at home, and even managed to bully everyone else in to helping out as well. The four boys' hairs were cut, some more successfully than others, and despite what it may look like, drink was not taken at the time. All the beds were stripped, washed and changed, pictures that were sitting in a forlorn little pile for months were finally hung, and an overworked, seriously manky washing machine received its first proper clean ever. Who's the mammy, wha? (I want a t-shirt with that on it)

On top of all that, it was the weekend that my sister found THE DRESS for her September wedding. After an extended morning of all things bridal, a final summit was held at ours over tray bakes yesterday, and a blessedly unanimous motion passed. And it IS completely fabulous. (Oh God, at this moment, I'm having a selfish panic, as I envisage being the oldest, fattest bridesmaid slash matron of honor in the bridal party...or possibly ever. Unfortunately 'doing a Pippa' just isn't an option but I SO would if I could-Sorry Clare-it's dog eat dog!)

I also spent a considerable amount of time on the couch, working hard at getting my skybox memory percentages up. There's something so very satisfying about hitting that delete button and seeing those numbers rise. On Saturday night, despite lobbying hard for 'Pretty in Pink', I was completely vetoed by Loverboy, so we compromised and watched 'The Little Fockers' instead. Well, all I can say is, that just because a movie has De Niro in it, doesn't make it worth watching- what a load of old crap!





Oui, Oui!

Then last night, I took a gamble on the new Sarah Millican show- I admit that I had expected great things from a woman who could chat on Graham Norton, in front of millions and P Diddy, about her boyfriend going 'down there'...but how wrong I was. She was wooden and cliched and boring- IMHO, give her a wide berth. 



Speaking of  Graham Norton though, did you see his show on Friday ? He had Gerard Depardieu on and- I'm going out on a limb here- by the end of the show, I would definitely have jumped his well upholstered bones. Despite the fact that he won't see sixty again, relieves himself in bottles, is missing a tooth and has the crookedest nose I've ever seen, he definitely has... je ne sais quoi! Am I alone on this one? ...Anyone?



Damian Lewis was also on- never mind 'Homeland' , he'll always be 'Soames' from the 'Forsyte Saga' for me. He IS handsome on paper but, as a very good scientist friend of mine once informed me, apparently it's genetically impossible for gingers to fancy gingers, and from my own emperical research, I suspect she's right. Enough said. Also on Graham's couch, was that cheeky chappie Olly Murs, but I'm possibly getting old, because he just seems SO very young, and as for that awful Essex accent....it was so bad I had to put him on mute. Finally, there was Dominic West....well, you just would, wouldn't you? I mean, definitely as 'Mc Nulty'  but possibly not as 'Fred West', which  clearly shows how versatile an actor he is, I suppose.

To offset all that TV, we went for a family walk/ cycle  yesterday afternoon. Now, that sounds so simple and relaxing, but it was actually anything but. After the inevitable half hour spent blowing up tyres, tightening gears and fixing brakes, there followed a 15 minute search for helmets randomly discarded at the end of last summer. Finally, we set off to the soundtrack of  'Keep In!  I SAID Keep In!' You're in the middle of the road! KEEP IN!' (and under the breath FFSing). En route and disgusted by the rubbish lying over the road, I then initiated a litter pick and we filled an entire bin liner with Strongbow cans and fast food wrappings. Littering has to be my absolute pet hate- never mind a £100 fine, it would be a public flogging if I were in charge.....So it's maybe just as well that I'm not!, Emx

 Oh, I nearly forgot-I also got a Facebook page sorted for my blog this weekend, along with a 'Like' button at the top of this page, (just one of the many benefits of being married to a nerd!) So, make it look a bit less pathetic, and 'like' me, please please please....