Friday Quicktakes

1. Over the last six weeks, I have sold my entire wardrobe on ebay and now I haven't a stitch to wear. Ahem. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration- as Himself observed helpfully last night it still looks pretty well stocked to him, and then my sister cheerily pointed out that the fact I had so much to sell in the first place, said a lot more about my shopaholic tendencies, than my business acumen.

Myself and the lady in the post office are now besties- she'll refer to my numerous grey packages and make comments like  'Just the usual then for all of them?' and ' Your husband must be delighted with you!' and 'Now, who would even think of buying tights on ebay!?'

But thankfully for me,  some people do, which is just as well given the fact that so far, I've excavated fifteen unopened pairs from my drawer. A lovely selection too- tights and stockings of all different colours and deniers and yep, they were snapped up in no time.

But why on earth did I buy them all in the first place? Especially when I only wear skirts once or twice a year. Well, I think my logic was that I really should wear more skirts, and if I had the perfect tights, I would wear more skirts, and then they just sneaked in one by one over a few years until one day I opened the drawer and thought 'My God! Those tights are actually breeding in there.' (Frozen chickens and now tights- is this what a midlife crisis looks like?)

Conclusion- After extensive statistical analysis clearly showed no positive correlation between the number of tights in my drawer, and the frequency of skirt wearing, the tights' days were numbered. Photos were taken, descriptions written and they were uploaded to my ebay in no time at all...... and the skirts followed fairly sharpish.

2. Mother's Day this weekend, which has meant horrid time consuming Mothers' Day homeworks all week.  It. Is. Like. Pulling. Teeth.
 Rory, after a huge amount of thought and deliberation counted 'folding clothes' as one of my talents. Well, I was deeply touched obvs.
He also felt it important to include the fact that I had 'lots and lots of shoes.' Great, Imelda Markos with OCD tendencies. But the question is, is that better or worse than the previous classic of  'My Mummy has ginger eyebrows.The end.'

Conclusion-there is no positive correlation between Mothers' Day Homeworks and maternal self esteem. In fact, emperical evidence suggests that there may actually be a negative correlation instead.

3. I'm off this weekend with the girls*  for an overnight to Dublin....as in, a hotel + gossip+ no children + lots of  Prosecco + a lie in. Hell, I'm even looking forward to the hangover. But is it a teensy bit wrong that a night away from your kids is like the best Mother's Day present EVER? Don't answer that.

4. In honour of Mother's Day I'm going to include a themed Amazon ad instead of the usual Boogie in the Car seat. I warn you now-it's a bit cheeky, but I hope it gives you a giggle.
Happy Mothers Day, lovelies xxx

* All the 'girls' are in their thirties (or maybe very early forties...even if they totally don't look it) and are all married with children, so strictly speaking, are no longer girls. However, the mothership still enjoys early bird suppers  meals out with her loyal band of ' girls' and those chicks are all kicking the arse off seventy, so I'm running with it.

PS. I'm still officially on a high at being a finalist again in the MAD Blog Awards. Will you take a minute and give me your vote in the Family Life and Most Entertaining categories? I know it's a torture, but it's dead quick and it could mean an actual prize come September....rumour has it that it may even be a year's supply of Caramel Squares, so I'm highly motivated.xxxx

Boston Bound

I'm in the departure lounge at Dublin airport waiting on my flight to Boston to be called. Yeah, me! Usually at exactly this time on any ordinary Thursday, I'd be doing a grocery shop-I know this because that's what I've done every Thursday in living memory. Not today Sweetcheeks, because I've just finished a coffee and a large bar of chocolate and made full use of the free wifi throughout the airport. I even briefly considered ordering a glass of wine- why not, all bets are off today- but then my sensible head prevailed... at least until I meet my sister later.

I'm currently surrounded by American accents, a rash of tweed caps and a good few Guiness jumpers. There's also several parents toting toddlers and infants and lots of bags and prams. I've especially noticed them because that's  usually me, or it was, for the longest time.

I remember well those many trips back and forth from Washington over the years. I remember the horrified looks on our fellow passengers' faces, as a cranky Duffy's Circus made its way down the aisle towards them. (I totally understood and even sympathised, but what could we do?) I remember many flights punctuated by crying, and vomiting and the endless walking up and down the aisle, soothing and rocking, dead on my feet. I definitely remember jealously eyeing the lucky ones with their magazines and their books and their headphones and their movies. I longed to be bored again on a flight and wonder how to fill three more hours,  instead of praying that the baby cutting off the blood supply in my leg would stay asleep just for a wee while longer.

But not today my lovelies! Do you know how many magazines I've got in my (non baby) bag? Eight AND a book! And if I don't feel like reading, no problemo, I've got an audio book just to listen to quietly with my eyes closed. Or how about those inflight movies (I'm thinking Gatsby), and NEWSFLASH, if I still can't fill the time there's Wifi on board the flight- surfing in the sky- imagine
that!!

The funny thing is though, maybe if I hadn't personally lived through all of 'Nightmare Flights with
Kids' volumes 1-3, I wouldn't appreciate the luxury of a solo six hour flight in Economy. (Key word- solo). Anyway I (literally) must fly! Catch you on the other side of the pond, Emx

Quicktakes

1. I don't know about you but I'm kinda over the whole summer holiday gig now...which really means that the kids are doing my head in and I can't wait to get them back to school.
 The continuous  bickering  in the minivan, the constant snack requests, the wails of  'There's nothing to do!', the late nights, the cranky mornings-seriously, at this point, I'm  considering putting a few of them on eBay. 
And this week, the icing on the cake has been the delightful outings to procure new school shoes and pencil cases and lunch boxes, which seems to bring out the best in ALL of us.
 'Stand still and let me feel your toe. Wiggle it. No, you can't have a treat- sure aren't you getting new shoes! Stay there and don't you even THINK about moving again. That's it! Out to the car- NOW!'
Yes indeed, it would seem that the transformation into my mother is now complete.

2. Speaking of which, (I DO love it when a link comes together) tomorrow we're off en masse on a family weekend to a hotel near Dublin. The entire crew will be there- the 'rents, my three brothers, two sisters and all their respective spouses. Chuck in the seventeen grandchildren (+2 on the way) and we're a bona fide pop-up village! Most importantly, there's a pool and a playground and best of all no cooking for three whole days!
Breakfast alone, we'll get our money's worth- the last time we stayed in a hotel, the waitress actually came up and congratulated me afterwards, on how much grub my boys had managed to put away. I'm  paraphrasing only slightly as she basically said 'Well done on having SUCH greedy children...and so many of them too!' Now, what could one reply except with a gracious thank you?

3. You will not believe the massive prat I made of myself earlier on...('Au contraire!' I hear you say).
The phone rang and because we no longer have caller ID, (we moved providers- what  a bummer- picking up the phone is like Russian roulette), so I made the rash decision to answer it.
The timing wasn't good- Luke was on the loo and had just produced the major goods so was duly awaiting my wiping expertise, and I'd briefly nipped into the kitchen for wet wipes when the phone rang and I picked it up.
That was my first mistake- in retrospect, I SHOULD have let it ring ....but what if it was important ....which indeed it was, because on the other end, was the assistant bank manager to discuss mortgage details. Now, she's really friendly but STILL our bank manager and very definitely NOT my friend, but that didn't stop my motor mouth working overtime.
We'd chatted briefly, but I was distracted and very much aware of my task in hand so to speak, so I said to her,  'I'm sorry M but I'll just put D on to you- I'm actually right in the middle of wiping a bum.'
Oh God. ....Cue stunned silence.... and then to make matters worse, I followed up by hastily reassuring her that of course it wasn't mine.
It was awful and I instantly knew that there was no way back from that, so I  wordlessly passed the phone to Loverboy, who was understandably open mouthed with a  'WTF!' expression on his face. It was, in the words of son #1, an "Epic Fail'.... ....but wine will help.
Have a great last weekend of the summer, my lovelies xx

Friday Quicktakes

1. It was midterm break this week, so we decided to take a wee run up to check on the caravilla. We'd winterized it in October, (I DIDN'T make that word up), and this was our first time checking  on it. We'd put down industrial amounts of silica gel and salt to absorb the moisture, but we'd also heard about the dreaded mould, so it was with a certain amount of trepidation that we opened the door.  But.... it was grand, except for the basket holding the crocs and sandals. I didn't notice it initially, but then it dawned on me that it didn't seem to be made from brown wicker anymore, rather it seemed fashioned from white/green cotton wool. Nice. Note to self-you can't winterize wicker.

2. Staying on the Caravilla theme, it really did feel lovely to be up there again. It was a beautiful, bitterly cold day, and completely deserted, so understandably enough I used the opportunity to nosy unchecked through the windows of the other Caravillas. (Sure you'd do it yourself!)
I could almost imagine as I wandered through, the play park filled with kids, the smell of the barbecues, the sound of the icecream van- the promise of the new season seemed just around the corner and I'll admit I felt a real frisson of excitement ..kinda like Mr Kellerman must have felt at the beginning of Dirty Dancing, and Baby and Johnny and salsa classes and watermelons and 'nobody puts Baby in a corner' and I can definitely feel a song coming on. Roll on Summer 2013!

3. We stayed in a hotel for the one night we were up there-a huge treat and the kids loved every minute, most especially the breakfast. In fact, I had one slightly unsettling moment when the waitress came over and congratulated me on how much they could eat. I mean, what does one say to that?
'Four Weetabix,  two croissants, toast, poached eggs and bacon! That's really very good, very good indeed.'
'I'm so proud. They take it after me.' (I didn't really say that)

 'And five glasses of apple juice as well!' one of them reminded her happily. Clearly she wasn't used to boys, because she definitely looked at me oddly when I then did a 'mammy' and wrapped up a few sausages and a croissant in a napkin for the car journey home.

4. I'm probably one of the last to see it, but myself and a few laydees finally went to see 'Les Miserables' last night in the cinema. OMG. I'd seen it on stage last year in London but was still completely unprepared how utterly AMAZING the film was. The closeups, the sets, the drama, the tragedy, the emotion-all five of us wept from beginning to end, passing tissues up and down the row-just wonderful! Alright, so these were definitely actors singing (they were no SuBos), but I thought they did a great job, even the much maligned Russell Crow. And as for the talented and 'very easy on the eye' Hugh Jackman...and Anne Hathaway ...and even Borat! Who knew! Go and see it if you haven't already...just remember to bring your hankies.

5. I'm going to park the 'Carseat Boogie'  this week and instead stay with Les Mis for today's musical treat. Here's the Dublin born Colm Wilkinson-the original and many would say, the best Valjean ever, singing the beautiful 'Bring Him Home'. (An interesting piece of trivia is that he played the much smaller role of the priest in the movie-surely that must've broken his heart just a teensy bit?). Hope you like it and happy Friday peeps xxx