Jumping Right In!

You will NEVER guess what I did yesterday...especially if you know me. It was so out of character, so spontaneous, so...so utterly liberating. We'd gone for a walk- Loverboy , myself and the wee man in the pram, down onto the beach. It was about 6 o'clock and the most gorgeous evening. (We're able to do this now you see- just take the baby and leave the other four for an hour or so, here and there- it's a whole new dawn!)
Anyway, off we went along the gorgeous, almost empty, (that's important!), strand. The water was so clear and warm as I paddled my way through it. We walked right to the rocks at the end, and there wasn't a sinner about, just us.
I found myself looking longingly at the water. I haven't been swimming in the sea for YEARS- believe it or not, it was actually sometime in the last millennium. I used to love it as a kid though, even on those pre wetsuit days when the water was so cold, my legs turned blue, and my teeth chattered, as all frozen fingers and thumbs, I clumsily got dressed under a towel, in the back of our old Volvo.
But it wasn't like that yesterday-No Siree! It was almost Mediterranean and it bewitched me, turned my head, made me want nothing more at that moment, than to swim in the clear water, and feel weightless and carefree and young again.
The thing is, it was only last week that I'd even brought my swimsuit to the Caravilla. I hadn't even considered it, until one of the kids asked me if I'd ever been into the water. Sad really, when you think of it. But right then, it was back in the drawer with the towels, and the dinner needed made for everyone, and anyway,  I'd washed and dried my hair that morning. That settled it then. Another time though. Definitely.
 Then Loverboy said to me softly, 'Why don't you go in? There's nobody here. Everything else can wait.' And I looked at him then and shook my head, all the excuses on my lips. But I think he'd already seen the wistfulness and the longing on my face because he pushed me again,  'Go on, be a devil! Sure, why wouldn't you?'
And then from somewhere, underneath the layers of responsibility and self consciousness and  general 'being an adult' bullshit, a little voice said 'Feck it'. And before I could change my mind, I just stripped down to my bra and knickers and waded out into the sparkling, warm water.
 Part of me was almost crippled with embarrassment. Even though there was nobody around except Loverboy and the wee man,  I was STILL only wearing an old grey bra and granny knickers, complete with wobbly bits and stretch marks and freckles and blue/white skin. And did I  mention it was broad daylight? (In retrospect, a moonlight swim would have been SO much more forgiving.)
 But once I'd started, I knew that there was no going back, and a little, cheeky, playful part of me was filled with... excitement? It felt like I was tapping into somewhere deep inside myself, that I'd assumed had long  disappeared.
And it WAS gorgeous, and deliciously and fabulously  liberating. I swam and I floated, on my back, then on my front-a few times I even caught myself laughing out loud. I felt like a kid again. It was the most normal, ordinary thing and yet I hadn't allowed myself this simple pleasure for so many years. I'd let my own fears talk me out of it and lost something precious in the process.  And all the while Loverboy and Luke waved and smiled and clapped from the sand.
I'll be honest though, when it was to time to go, I had a bit of a moment when I pictured myself emerging from the water, and suddenly the unwelcome perfection of Halle Berry in her orange bikini popped into my mind...But I pushed it straight out again, not letting myself tarnish it, because this little episode had been MAJOR for me. A small step for most people maybe,  but a great bloody long jump for Yours Truly.
Those in the know, say that you should do something that scares you a little every single day, and yesterday I did something that scared the shit out of me...but it was SO worth it. And who knows, next time I may even wear my swimsuit...

Here comes Summer!

I've got itchy feet. Literally AND metaphorically actually, but that's a whole other blog post altogether. No, my feet have been eaten alive in this weather by horrible bitey things. I think it must have been during the night, and yet they left Loverboy's great hairy plates alone, so they clearly have taste, but that doesn't make me feel one bit better. I'm not complaining though! Do you hear me? I am SO not complaining. In fact, like every other Irish person when we get a heatwave, I'm completely and utterly grateful. Coming out of Mass yesterday morning, a neighbour put it a little more graphically, 'Anyone who's not happy on a day like that should be taken out and shot!', which IS perhaps a tad extreme, and not overly Christian given the context, but I DO understand where he's coming from.
 Apparently, it was even warmer here yesterday than it was in Sardinia and Corsica. And  I strongly suspect every Irish person on Twitter retweeted THAT little nugget, if only as a delighted 'Up Yours!' to the entire Mediterranean! We're SO appreciative of a bit of sun, you see - at the first rays, the barbecues are fired up, the paddling pools are unearthed, and the obligatory wine is cracked open, even on a school night. 'Go on sure-we may enjoy it while it lasts. This is probably our summer!', the implication being of course, that we wouldn't even consider touching a drop when it's raining. Ahem.
Meanwhile, the children are only allowed inside to go to the toilet 'No, you're not playing that Wii! Are you mad? There'll be loads of wet days for that- away outside and enjoy the sunshine!' And even though we should all know by now, that this hot balmy weather is fleeting, we convince ourselves that it's here to stay, and therefore, it's time to invest properly in outside living. Yes indeed, because we'll be dining al fresco for the next 3 months, it would be a great shame not to get new patio furniture...with stripy cushions....and possibly even a bar for the corner? And of course, we'll need that new table runner and polka dot napkins to set it all off.
Yesterday for instance, I bought a lovely wooden sandpit for the children, so between that and the paddling pool, we'll have a beach in the garden! On a whole other scale entirely though, I discovered Loverboy enthusiastically sourcing ACTUAL swimming pools - like big proper 15 feet, over ground, pools with heaters! Because obviously our typical Norn Iron climate makes THAT purchase a no brainer. Trust me, when I say that it was no fun nipping THAT one firmly in the bud.
 Most annoyingly for me though, is that despite all the fabulousness of these hot balmy days, I'm just not a hot weather gal. I want to be, oh Lord, how I want to be, and over the years I've tried really, really hard to be, but reluctantly, I've come to the conclusion that I just don't DO hot weather well. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I'm actually allergic to it.
Because in addition to my itchy feet, not only do I stubbornly not tan AT ALL, I also get a MOST attractive heat rash. So whatever isn't covered in red bumps is covered in freckles instead. Lucky old me! It took years to learn that its better for everyone, if I worship from afar- preferably in the shade adorned with a big floppy hat and factor 50.
Consequently, a large portion of my life thus far, has been spent in pursuit of the Holy Grail of fake tans- one that doesn't smell of old biscuits, and works on a bluey white skin hue. Over the years, Ive had more than my fair share of disasters, spent a small fortune and our bathroom cabinet is a fake tan graveyard of half used sprays, mousses and creams, to no avail. Undeterred, I soldier on dreaming that one day I too will sport a golden, sun kissed, natural looking tan. Until then though, keep your ear to the ground for me and if you hear of any major tanorific breakthroughs, specifically for untannable sun allergic gingers, keep me in the loop. Emx



I MAY have mentioned this before ;-) but I'm a finalist in two categories in the MAD Blog Awards. If you're feeling any love at all for this wee blog, I'd really appreciate it if you could vote for me in the Family Life category (the other one is decided by judges). Here's the link- http://www.the-mads.com/vote.htm and thank you very much xxxx
PS While you're there, check out the other finalists-who'd have believed there were so many amazing blogs out there?