Monday Matters

Monday morning, and I've got myself a stinker of a cold so don't come anywhere near me in case you catch it. My uncle once advised to 'feed a cold and starve a flu', which despite having no medical basis whatsoever, conveniently justified the huge plates of buttered toast in front of 'Going for Gold'. Unfortunately though, today is my 5:2 fast day...and here's a fun fact for you- Lemsip has actual calories which therefore must be counted, which is just wrong.

Anyway, moving on from the pity party, tomorrow's October- can you believe it? Especially after that glorious balmy weekend we just enjoyed, and so much for my annual autumnal wardrobe clear out a few weeks ago-sure,the t shirts were hoked out all over again!

This weeks busy for me- I'm starting New Stuff. Stuff that I couldn't do before I had ALL five children at school, and to quote Roald Dahl's Enormous Crocodile, (I've clearly been at home with children for far too long), 'I've got secret plans and clever tricks'.
Which isn't entirely true, but I've always wanted to say that, and actually, as it happens, this week I'm starting a  writing class, AND, (slightly more scarily), a two year course exploring faith and spirituality. I know! Who knew?

On top of that, I've decided to polish up my vocal chords and try and make a little cash singing at weddings and funerals. Which isn't really new for me- I've been singing at them for years on and off, mostly for family and friends. The difference is that I've never sought them out before, and that's mainly been down to a)a lack of time and b)a shed load of nerves.

So, I'd been half considering a few lessons to help with my confidence and tighten up certain key  pieces, when last week I spotted a Groupon deal, bought it on the spot and my first singing lesson in twenty years is this week as well. No pressure then. Oh, and despite feeling like a bit of a grim reaper, I stuck my name in the church bulletin stating my availability for funerals, but no luck as yet.....that actually sounds bad but you know what I mean!

In case you're wondering, with all this talk of change afoot, I've put the tattoo idea on the back burner for now. Honestly, I had no idea it would be such a polarising topic when I put it on the blog, and it certainly led to a lively discussion on Facebook - everyone has VERY definite opinions on the matter! I really loved hearing them all too, but I can't deny that it gave me a leetle bit of a speed wobble about the whole idea!

 Now, that may be because I hadn't thought it through properly, and was therefore somewhat undecided in the first place (in which case the wobble's a good thing) .... or it could be that, in general, I have a tendency to doubt the validity of my own decisions in the face of adversity (which isn't such a good thing when you think about it.)

Either way though, I shall think deep thoughts and decide ...just not right now. Because right now, my nose is running and my eyes are scratchy and my head is fuzzy and I'm going to go throw caution to the winds  and treat myself to that Lemsip and sod the 5:2. Peace out lovelies xx

Friday Quick Takes

1. Christmas dinner is barely over before Cormac and Rory, both of whom have January birthdays, begin enthusiastically brainstorming ideas for their parties and possible presents. My role at this point, is to temper those ideas a little bit, reel them in gently, suggest more realistic options.....Yep,  basically I'm Queen Buzzkill. This year we've finally decided on a retro party at home for Rory, and a swimming pool and diner trip for Cormac. (And in case you're wondering- 'retro' simply means that we'll play Pass the Parcel and Musical Chairs, and chow down on Onion Rings and Top Hats).
 Rory had initially requested a visit to the local fun farm, having recently seen photos of himself there as a toddler. These were taken however on a beautiful June day, not a cold rainy January one, but when I tried to explain this to him, he replied 'But Mummy, every special day is always sunny! Like.... like.... Jude's Confirmation Day!' Bless him, because in actual fact, it rained that day as well, but you really gotta love the wonderfully selective, rose tinted memory of a six year old. So we reached a compromise- the party at home now and a trip to the farm in the Spring..



2. Meanwhile, the potty training saga continues. As I write this, I'm sitting alongside my potty buddy, watching Cbeebies, while making encouraging noises and promises of  treats for deposits made. He, on the other hand, clearly NEEDS to go, but is doing his absolute best to hold it in, which is frustrating both of us because we're heading out soon, and that means he gets a 'pull-up' on. The problem is, that he's got the whole scenario about face, illustrating impressive bowel and bladder control at potty time, but as soon as a pull up goes on, it's bombs away.

3. Which means, my friends, that its time to raise the game... remove the safety net.. bring out the big guns. To quote Roald Dahl's Enormous Crocodile, (I read it to the boys this week), 'I have secret plans and clever tricks.'
Yes indeed, (except for bedtime obviously, I'm not a masochist), we're going cold turkey  and that means no more pullups...nada, zip, zilch. The issue arises when we leave the house-that's when the pullups go on and the dirty deed is done.
Therefore....I give you ...(drumroll please) the Potette Plus 2 in 1- a nifty portable potty/toilet seat delivered today, bang on time, by Handsome Delivery Man. So people, as of right now,  we are good to go, and if  you spot me out and about, it will be with my ubiquitous trusty bag containing the potette, bags,  wipes, a full change of clothes and multiple pairs of pants. My days of travelling light may be over but I am ALL over the potty situation like a rash. Wish me luck peeps....there may be trouble ahead...(I feel a song coming on.)

4. I went back to Zumba last night. Like many others I'd fallen by the wayside during the Autumn, but spurred on by our enhanced Christmas love handles, most of us have found our way back. Now I'll not lie, it was tough going, and by the time Gangnam Style came on, I was so puffed out  from leaping about, there was very nearly weeping and gnashing of teeth, but instead I kept 'er lit and thanked God for Tenalady.

5. Finally, I've rediscovered Ebay, this time in my new role as seller.To be honest, it was always such a pain to upload the pictures and check the computer for updates, but now with the new Ebay app, all that's wee buns....AND the perfect way to offset any January sales splurge. (Who me?) Thus far, I've sold two dresses and a keyring, and am currently flogging a phone cover, a top, a cardigan, a dress and a pair of shoes.  All NWOT, and would you believe, I've discovered that I have quite a talent when it comes to writing the descriptions as well! 'Classy, elegant, yet so sexy too! Go on treat yourself and bag a bargain!' So good in fact, that I've almost bid on them by mistake myself!

6. Finally finally, give yourself a pat on the back, because that's the first week of bleak old January over and EVERYONE knows the first week's the absolute worst so I dont know about you, but in my book that calls for a celebratory glass or three!
Happy Weekend,  my loveliesxxxx

Down the Toilet...

It started off badly and went downhill from there. A week ago, I'd done my bumper bimonthly grocery shop online, ( it took 2 hours and came to over £300), and was due to be delivered yesterday. (I also do a weekly shop, but this is serious bulk buying, as in 40 packets of cereal and 50 loo rolls-I kid you not!). Anyway I'd ordered from Sainsburys this time, just for kicks, and logged on to the Interweb the other night to add bleach. (Yes indeed-that's what I was up to at 10pm on Valentine's Night - I sincerely hope that yours was a tad more exciting!)
Then, all of a sudden,  my monster grocery shop went inexplicably AWOL. One minute it was there, the next lost somewhere in cyberspace. Quick as a flash, I sent them an email telling them what had happened and assuring them that I still wanted our lorry load to arrive between 11 and 1 the next day. Ha!
Next morning, of course, I got an automated response confirming that it had been cancelled (It had not!) and sincerely hoping that I would shop with them again. Cue my first murmured FFS of the day, but it certainly wasn't my last. Obviously, I then sent them a snotty email telling them that hell would freeze over before I'd shop with them again and they could shove their groceries ...or words to that effect. Then, because I STILL had no bleach, and we were down to our last three packets of cereal, I had no alternative but to spend the next two hours doing a similar massive shop on Tesco instead. FFS! Which only meant that my exciting morning plans of tackling the ironing pile so large that I could no longer force the cupboard door shut, was now my afternoon instead. FFS!
Prior to this, I had morphed into 'Tiger Mother' mode, (which in Ireland is just being a complete targe), turning off the TV, (this went down a treat as 'Spongebob' was on), and organising chores, piano practice and project work. To tell you the truth, all of my Tiger Mother buttons had been well and truly pushed the night before, when I'd been informed that my nephew, who's only five, is currently reading the entire Roald Dahl collection ON HIS OWN... FFS! So, with a renewed fire in my belly,( but not in theirs- It's half term after all), extensive reading material was chosen and new guidelines for personal and guided reading put in place. As you I can imagine my popularity levels are currently through the roof. FFS!
Logged into Tesco in a grim but determined mood, and I was nearly done by lunchtime. The kids were playing outside, Loverboy was munching on a sandwich, wisely leaving me alone to calculate the price of loo roll, when we became aware of the sound of gushing water in the background. Thinking that one of the kids had left the tap on in the downstairs loo, he went to investigate to find that the cistern of the toilet had only gone and cracked completely, and water was pouring out all over the floor. FFS! FFS! FFS!
Surely, this must scoop top prize in 'Crappiest Toilet Luck EVER'? Utter panic ensued- it was just like 'Titanic'. Naturally, the children relished the drama, rushing for torches and towels and later, hosting guided tours of the offending site for the neighbours' kids.
 The upshot is that it looks like we're going to need a whole new toilet, because you can't buy just the cistern. FFS! And further preliminary investigations have indicated yet another issue - Oh, why am I not surprised? Apparently, champagne coloured suites are now so passé that they're like hens' teeth, and we may have to go for a white one... which consequently would mean a whole new bathroom suite. For lack of a cistern the entire bloody bathroom may be lost. FFS! (screaming now!)
Later on, and with the ironing finally done, I'd pretty much lost the will to live- my mood was black and I didn't care who knew it. There was more to come- lying in bed late last night, the pipes in the attic began to make a very loud, dubious clanking noise... for a good ten minutes. My overly optimistic husband assured me that all it needed was a squirt of WD40, (don't we all, love), but because I'd just finished watching 'Death Unexplained ' about a coroner's office and combined with our indisputable bad plumbing karma,  I was tearfully convinced that I was about to clock out, in a most undignified fashion, by being squashed with an exploding water tank in my own bed. FFS!....Then I fell asleep.