tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post4071775462077949138..comments2023-09-20T15:43:37.167+01:00Comments on Adventures of an Unfit Mother: Important Health AdviceEmmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231909904015489879noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-50918340138020757212011-10-16T20:07:20.114+01:002011-10-16T20:07:20.114+01:00Paul- I LOVE this!! So clever- thank you!Paul- I LOVE this!! So clever- thank you!Emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12231909904015489879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-81676457589201048812011-10-16T18:08:08.869+01:002011-10-16T18:08:08.869+01:00V good. Sauvignon Blanc is one thing, but be sure ...V good. Sauvignon Blanc is one thing, but be sure not to stray on to the harder stuff, like thinking.<br /><br />It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone — "to relax," I told myself — but I knew it wasn’t true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.<br /><br />I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t mix, but I couldn’t stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"<br /><br />Things weren’t going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother’s.<br /><br />I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.<br /><br />I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I’ve been thinking…"<br /><br />"I know you’ve been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"<br /><br />"But Honey, surely it’s not that serious."<br /><br />"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don’t make any money. So, if you keep on thinking, we won’t have any money!"<br /><br />"That’s a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently and she began to cry. I’d had enough. "I’m going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.<br /><br />I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with the NPR station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors … they didn’t open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"<br /><br />You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker’s Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a T.A. meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video, last week it was "Porky’s", and then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.<br /><br />I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed … easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-62213818900841534682011-10-15T16:41:45.987+01:002011-10-15T16:41:45.987+01:00Love it ! Such a fan I always ignore the warnings!...Love it ! Such a fan I always ignore the warnings! Nuala KAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-88966493949908152092011-10-10T00:40:25.915+01:002011-10-10T00:40:25.915+01:00Excellent.Excellent.Cusackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10613570959136309703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-59286351731514823542011-10-07T22:53:52.714+01:002011-10-07T22:53:52.714+01:00and on this frisay night i can vouch for that 6 ti...and on this frisay night i can vouch for that 6 times...just saying...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3917582087359676920.post-39624642382904495702011-10-07T21:29:06.184+01:002011-10-07T21:29:06.184+01:00Well it made me smile- wish I could take the credi...Well it made me smile- wish I could take the credit for it- just thought it was fun for a Friday night!!Emmanoreply@blogger.com